I Never Used to be Like This

Kenny Parker

Synopsis

Clare is a popular and girl, who studies Journalism at University. She is also very active; she runs most mornings, and has also won many riding trophies.

Or at least this is how Claire used to be. A few months ago, she had an accident, which left her with brain damage. Now she can only move her eyes. She is otherwise completely paralysed.

From being so active, now she can’t do a thing for herself. Now she relies completely on her family. Now it is they, who manage all aspects of her personal care. They have to bathe her; they have to toilet her.

But inside, in her mind, Clare is still the same popular girl she once was. And as her family take care of her, and she can’t communicate, she still thinks as clearly as she did before.

…in her head at least, she can say everything she wants to say.

Kenny Parker - Director/Writer

Directing the Film

I Never Used To Be Like This, was a challenging film to make. The film awkwardly observes BILL as he looks after his recently disabled sister, CLARE. A few months ago, she had a shock accident, which left her brain-damaged. Clare can no longer communicate verbally. She is completely paralysed. Now she relies entirely on her family. Now it is they, who manage all aspects of her personal care. They have to bathe her; they have to toilet her. As such the film has many dramatically significant aspects. I was confident I had found the actors to pull it off.

Clare is played by Kelly Wood. Kelly had the difficult task of having to emote, while at the same time being completely unable to move. Clare is still the same girl she always was - however she has no way of showing it. There is a major discrepancy between what Bill thinks Clare is thinking, and what she actually is. Kelly played the part tremendously well. All her acting is in the eyes, and throughout the film, in every frame that features Clare, it is exactly clear what the character is thinking. This was no easy feat, and I am thrilled Kelly has achieved what she has here.

Rik Warren plays Bill. Slowly learning Bill was responsible for Clare’s accident is a major dramatic aspect of the story. Bill only agrees to look after his sister (while his parents go on holiday) through guilt. Despite knowing Clare’s condition is his own fault, he selfishly feels anger towards Clare, and is frustrated at how his own life has been affected. He has suddenly become a frequent career to his sister. The freedom he had is gone, and in its place unwanted responsibilities. So as Bill bathes his sister in the film, it is clear the mental turmoil he is enduring. Being angry at what he is being forced to do, but at the same time being fully aware Clare’s situation is his own fault and being ashamed of his rage.

Rik’s performance is great here. Watching a person in what should be a compassionate role, and who tries to put on that face, but who cannot prevent his resentment of the situation showing, is such an interesting situation. Rik is a joy to watch.

I am thrilled the casting process brought us to these actors. However I must also note, I am equally pleased with the production team and crew of the film. The film was an exciting trial of everybody’s abilities. And whether it was finding props such as N.G. Tubes and wheelchairs, or staging a complex car crash, or shooting to an incredibly tight shooting schedule, the team always triumphed.

I am really happy that this film succeeds on both a technical level, and on a performance level. I am very grateful to both my cast and crew for this achievement. Thanks again.
(Kenny Parker, May 2009)

On Location filming

Cast

Kelly Wood – Clare Rik Warren – Bill Emma Fenney - Sophie

Created for Rave on Air 2009